Okay, as you know my four children are in public school and my fiance is in the hospital with cancer, which is now removed.  So here I am, a woman who took vacation so I could get children to school and cutie out of the hospital. 

I don't get child-support.  I support my own children.  With that said, their father has paid one of my bills a time or two.  Has bought the children clothes here or there and paid for Lyns to get hair extensions for the start of school.  I, however, had paid the fees that needed paid for school (its a charter school--a good mix between public and private) I have bought school clothes (i.e. uniforms) and school supplies.  All in all, Robert and I have put in probably over $1000 this past month or so to be sure the children get a darn good education.

Of course they come home with the list of things they need by tomorrow.  Which would be fine under normal circumstances but to say the least I am broke.  Really broke...just had $15.  So I text their dad to ask for money...VERY rarely do I do that...and I mean VERY!  Of course he can't help.  So I am down to four bucks and am a bit miffed I was not offered any help for the children.  Granted they were at his house all summer (three days on and three days off and the boys stayed more there than here) 

So I am getting over this...and Lyns tells me she has to write a paper for school.  "The Most Important Person in Her Life"  Me, "Oh yeah, who did you pick?"  Her, "dad."  WHAT???  I am busting my butt, driving them to and from school every day, up early to make lunches, encouraging them to join clubs, hoping Jacob joins band.....listening to the alphabet in Turkish (yes the three big ones are taking Turkish) I am the one who is washing clothes, and working 12hr days.  I am giving up my dream to move to Ft. Worth so my children can feel settled for once.  Robert is as well......and these are not his children.  I am settling for a life here, that has me kicking and screaming for their sakes...and she chooses him.   I know it's selfish to say "what about me?"  But really---WHAT ABOUT ME?  Hell a Thank you would have been nice.  *sigh*  children....one day....

So this evening I am lying down reading...hoping my feet aren't getting the bedding dirty (just got a new set and love it...and love it clean! LOL  Micro-something in a nice toupe)  and Jacob comes up and lies on me and tells me "your a perfect mom."  WHAT??  First thought, of course...."what does he want."  I tell him, "I know this past year has not been easy on you"  And for him it has been the hardest as change is not his thing.  Then Jacob says, "yeah, but you always tried to make sure I felt better."  I almost cried.  (just not a crier...but Robert will argue that with you over the course of the past week.)  Honestly....the boy blew me away. 

I am enjoying settling into this life....its weird for me....VERY...but oddly enough I feel settled.  Actually found a house I wouldn't mind buying.  I loved the yard and the style... and it was brick...what is up with that?????  Once Ro-Bear (Robert in French) feels better maybe I will call and make an appt to see it??  hmmmm

To say the least life has been difficult and exciting all at the same time. 

We found out about three weeks ago Robert (the guy I am dating) has kidney cancer.  He goes in tomorrow to have his kidney removed.  Tonight he is hungry and cranky....well cranky from the hunger.  However I am nervous so I am eating enough for both of us.  He have had the conversations no body wants to have at 37, but we did it.  I bawled.  He has enjoyed counting how many times I have cried over this.  UGH...men!  All in all we are holding up pretty well. 

Today was the first day back to school.  The twins and Lyns are going to a college prep school.  They are not very happy about the uniforms, but they are so cute and good looking in their uniforms.  Jacob is going to another charter school.  They all came home in great moods and pretty excited.  The three oldest had to choose a language course.  It was a toss up between Spanish or Turkish.  All three are taking Turkish.  This should be quite interesting.  Jacob is looking forward to starting band.

Okay I think everyone is caught up.  Oh and for a bit of humor.....The school requires the twins to shave if they have facial hair.  So sadly my twins are shaving.  Tonight however, Alex pops his head in and asks, "Do I have to shave my legs too?"  Oh...I am still laughing.  It is one of them things that will probably crack me up forever.