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Saturday, 29 August 2009

  • Back to blogging

    It is so nice to be back to blogging once again.  After over a year, I once again have internet in my home....that and cable.  It was Robert's doing, not mine! But then he is the one who is stuck here for six weeks while he heals. 

    We are back home again.  Robert has spent most of the afternoon sleeping, which he desperately needed.  It is hard to sleep in the hospital when they are waking you about every hour or so, "My Jimerson....Mr Jimerson, excuse me Mr. Jimerson"  poor guy...We got home around 2pm and he was out for several hours and now he has been out again for several hours. 

    The boys are with Freddie and Lyns is here with us.  She took a huge nap this afternoon, so I have enjoyed just me, cooking and the remote.  Is it wrong to eat brownie batter while watching Biggest Loser?  *giggle* 

    Tomorrow I plan on cooking a lot so we will have an easy week.  I have three days of vacation left (yeah 9 days!!)  I need to get things cooked up for the children and Robert.  I am riding this fine line between domestication and business woman...such a strange place to live. 

    I had a nice chat with the children in regards to their new schools.  All agree that so far the Charter schools are much better than Marlin.  The students behavior, the teacher's involvement the way they are being pushed.....and hey...who can't love learning "Turkish"  I have loved listening to the three oldest reciting the Turkish alphabet or answering the phone saying ...whatever it is they say in Turkish.

    Maybe my life will get more interesting and the blog will pick up once again.

Wednesday, 26 August 2009

  • Things that irk the snot out of me.....

    Okay, as you know my four children are in public school and my fiance is in the hospital with cancer, which is now removed.  So here I am, a woman who took vacation so I could get children to school and cutie out of the hospital. 

    I don't get child-support.  I support my own children.  With that said, their father has paid one of my bills a time or two.  Has bought the children clothes here or there and paid for Lyns to get hair extensions for the start of school.  I, however, had paid the fees that needed paid for school (its a charter school--a good mix between public and private) I have bought school clothes (i.e. uniforms) and school supplies.  All in all, Robert and I have put in probably over $1000 this past month or so to be sure the children get a darn good education.

    Of course they come home with the list of things they need by tomorrow.  Which would be fine under normal circumstances but to say the least I am broke.  Really broke...just had $15.  So I text their dad to ask for money...VERY rarely do I do that...and I mean VERY!  Of course he can't help.  So I am down to four bucks and am a bit miffed I was not offered any help for the children.  Granted they were at his house all summer (three days on and three days off and the boys stayed more there than here) 

    So I am getting over this...and Lyns tells me she has to write a paper for school.  "The Most Important Person in Her Life"  Me, "Oh yeah, who did you pick?"  Her, "dad."  WHAT???  I am busting my butt, driving them to and from school every day, up early to make lunches, encouraging them to join clubs, hoping Jacob joins band.....listening to the alphabet in Turkish (yes the three big ones are taking Turkish) I am the one who is washing clothes, and working 12hr days.  I am giving up my dream to move to Ft. Worth so my children can feel settled for once.  Robert is as well......and these are not his children.  I am settling for a life here, that has me kicking and screaming for their sakes...and she chooses him.   I know it's selfish to say "what about me?"  But really---WHAT ABOUT ME?  Hell a Thank you would have been nice.  *sigh*  children....one day....

    So this evening I am lying down reading...hoping my feet aren't getting the bedding dirty (just got a new set and love it...and love it clean! LOL  Micro-something in a nice toupe)  and Jacob comes up and lies on me and tells me "your a perfect mom."  WHAT??  First thought, of course...."what does he want."  I tell him, "I know this past year has not been easy on you"  And for him it has been the hardest as change is not his thing.  Then Jacob says, "yeah, but you always tried to make sure I felt better."  I almost cried.  (just not a crier...but Robert will argue that with you over the course of the past week.)  Honestly....the boy blew me away. 

    I am enjoying settling into this life....its weird for me....VERY...but oddly enough I feel settled.  Actually found a house I wouldn't mind buying.  I loved the yard and the style... and it was brick...what is up with that?????  Once Ro-Bear (Robert in French) feels better maybe I will call and make an appt to see it??  hmmmm

  • The surgery is over

    They were successful removal of the tumor.  Thankfully, he was able to keep most of his kidney.  To say the least I am surprised.  The way the doctor had talked, Robert was going to loose his kidney.  When I left this evening he was talking (well right before he fell asleep with his mouth wide open and head thrown back)  His pain level was a 5 and when I spoke to him tonight it was down to a four. 

    If is weird to be here with out him.  This has become "our" place and not just "my" place.  The decorations have been chosen by us--together.  The furniture we needed to buy a reflection of our tastes blending together.  We are both country folk however our apartment reflects a more calm, serene, simple type of place.  We are saving our pennies for a great piece of framed art to hang in the living room.  If I could find a nice nook for this blasted computer desk I would be a lot happier.  It is crammed in here, but then ....everything is.

    Boy I am rambling.....I feel torn between home and the hospital....I have two sets of responsibilities....I have Robert at the hospital alone and the children here who need me to move and motivate and referee them.

    Okay...I need to go to bed.....
    good night all.....

Monday, 24 August 2009

  • Life as it

    To say the least life has been difficult and exciting all at the same time. 

    We found out about three weeks ago Robert (the guy I am dating) has kidney cancer.  He goes in tomorrow to have his kidney removed.  Tonight he is hungry and cranky....well cranky from the hunger.  However I am nervous so I am eating enough for both of us.  He have had the conversations no body wants to have at 37, but we did it.  I bawled.  He has enjoyed counting how many times I have cried over this.  UGH...men!  All in all we are holding up pretty well. 

    Today was the first day back to school.  The twins and Lyns are going to a college prep school.  They are not very happy about the uniforms, but they are so cute and good looking in their uniforms.  Jacob is going to another charter school.  They all came home in great moods and pretty excited.  The three oldest had to choose a language course.  It was a toss up between Spanish or Turkish.  All three are taking Turkish.  This should be quite interesting.  Jacob is looking forward to starting band.

    Okay I think everyone is caught up.  Oh and for a bit of humor.....The school requires the twins to shave if they have facial hair.  So sadly my twins are shaving.  Tonight however, Alex pops his head in and asks, "Do I have to shave my legs too?"  Oh...I am still laughing.  It is one of them things that will probably crack me up forever.

Thursday, 16 July 2009

  • Growing up

    I often forget how difficult it is to let my children grow up.  Especially my youngest.  I picked them up from their dad's yesterday and brought them home.  (they spend my days off with me....the days I work with him)  Alex will help out etc... when I least expect it..and I have grown to expect the spurt of maturity that pops out of him on occasion.  However, I have realized I am not doing a very good job on letting Jacob grow up.

    Yesterday he kept offering to help and I would reject them and then quickly remember "oh yeah.....duh!"  So I would call him back and let him take over the jobs.  We had Indian Tacos last night for supper (Indian fry bread instead of tortillas...and the rest of the fixings)  Jacob cooked the fry bread.  It was so hard for me to let him take over that project however I would have probably easily given it over to one of the other three. 

    This morning he was up before I and asking to make breakfast.  My first response was NO.....but I relented and the cute little booger cooked up breakfast burritos for us all.  He even pulled out the couch (we live in a little apartment) and set the table.  He kept apologizing for this or that...when I explained to him there was no need.  He had done a great job. 

    I problems with this child before...my allowing him to grow up.  Is it because he is my baby?  He is on the threshold of being a young adult and the mother in me is trying so hard to keep him a little boy.  No wonder he had anger issues!  I need to make a mental note, and then slap a post-it on my forehead that he needs the responsibility to help him grow...to become a man.  

    Days like this...when I sit back and see my children growing in front of me..becoming the people they are going to be, I am overwhelmed.  How did this happen?  How did they go from swinging on my hips and asking for sippee cups to discussing life and pouring their own glasses...and fixing the drink to start with.  They are funny and witty and a tad too much like their mom with the smart ass comments.  They are free thinkers and have no problems spouting their opinions.  I am awe-struck by the fact they were once so dependent on me and now....they are stepping out of the nest taking larger and larger steps.  One day...and one day too soon I am afraid...they will be flying out, I will be left with my empty nest wondering what is next......